Monthly Archives: March 2014

1 Lessons from: Do You Want To Be My Boyfriend? [Frozen Parody]

Like everyone else who watched Frozen, I was hooked on its soundtrack. It's just too fucking ridiculous. Not only is it insanely catchy, but each song brings out strong emotions. When I listen to “Do you want to build a snowman?” it brings me back to my childhood when my sisters refused to play with me. “Let it go” makes me want to take off my clothes and run round my house.

Naturally, I searched YouTube for covers. I fucking love covers, sometimes they're better than the original. The only thing I love more than covers are parodies. Not only do they add a new twist to the song, but they also make me laugh.

I stumbled upon this parody by BarkadaInc:

It's just too awesome, lets go over how much win this is:

  • The Cinematography is good. The camera angles are good, the cuts are smooth. To get good outdoor lighting they had to WAIT for a cloudy day to diffuse sunlight. Without the clouds, sunlight creates too much contrast for cameras
  • The SINGING is actually good. The girl who sings it actually sounds like she would sing a Disney song. The lip-singing is on point, it's hard to get synced with the song.
  • It's FUCKING FUNNY, like really, the idea is great. The girl is so shameless in her pursuit for a boyfriend, it's super entertaining to watch
  • This is just a male thing, but it definitely helps that the girl is super attractive & adorable. In real life, a girl like her obviously never has a problem finding a boyfriend, but our male fantasies would like to believe it to be true

After watching this video, I wanted to know more about them. I was an instant fanboy #Shameless. I checked out the rest of their channel and their “about” tab. Their Frozen Parody hit 1 million views in a month, but their other videos hover around 5,000 views. They've been making videos for 5 years, this was their 1st one million viewed video.

I was shocked, they are just so fucking good. Here are some things I learned from this:

  • Title of a video is just as important as its content. A lot of their videos have obscure titles. It's like playing video roulette. One of their videos is titled, “Awww….” like what am I about to watch when I click on “Awww….”? I have no clue. On top of that, having the words [Frozen Parody] is HUGE since everybody is typing that in the search bar.
  • Practice & patience. Everything was 10/10 for the Frozen parody, but it took them 5 yrs of practice to get everything down: cinematography, audio, editing, and acting (There's substantial growth from their 1st video). If they stopped last year because their videos didn't catch fire, they would have never made the Frozen Parody. Hats off to them for not giving up.
  • They can do it again. Getting their 1st million viewed video is a big deal because after they've accomplish this ONCE, they know they can do it again. I hope they keep making videos because I love their content #StillShameless #StillFanboy

I rarely share content on my Facebook, but I shared their video. It's caused my friends and I a nice laugh. I hope they see the joy they bring to other people's lives, and hope they make enough money from ad revenue to take their channel more serious.

Lawls for days

Lawls for days

Matt Tran

2 How Social Media Fucks With Our Emotions

Change Apps, Change Emotions

Change Apps, Change Emotions

Today I woke up at 5 am.

No, it's not because I'm a super achiever entrepreneur tony robbins shit. Before I slept, I drank 3 Mike's Hard Lemonade. Drinking usually wakes me up in the middle of the night, and tonight was no different. Usually when this happens, I go take a piss, and go back to sleep. This time I couldn't, I was up.

It was too damn cold to get out of bed, so I reached for my phone to scroll thru Facebook. I questioned humanity. All I saw on facebook were post about “Top 10 things to do while being a shitty millennial” or people bragging about their lives in one way or another.

Here's how I feel when I go on Facebook:

I feel that most of my Facebook friends lack depth. They have not done any self-development at all. They are still seeking validation for things that don't deserve validation (going on a date, going to the gym, eating out). I mean if they started their own company, wrote a well written blog or something fucking cool, then I would love for them to share it. (Infact, one of my friend's started Humans of Socal, very cool idea). But going to the gym, or eating out…. means you are living an everyday normal fucking life. Stop sharing it because it's the same shit that everyone else is doing. Facebook makes me question the general population's ability to make original thought & content. Luckily, I follow pages like “Embarrassing Night Club Photos” and “Men's Humor” that provide me comedic relief.

After I finished scrolling thru Facebook's newsfeed. I switched over to Instagram, that was a mistake.

It's hard to put Instagram in words… because well… there are no words. Instagram bypasses any chance of having depth by keeping words to a minimum. It's impossible to be awkward on Instagram because you don't have enough room to write anything retarded. It also gives people permission to indulge in shameless self-love.

Screenshot_2014-03-14-08-03-54

If I'm going to look at selfies, it might as well be of a hot Thailand actress

This is how Instagram makes me feel:

Most men have fled Instagram at this point, and it's now a  female dominated App., 90% of what people post are either pictures of themselves or pictures of their food. Neither I care to look at. If there is a female I  do want to look at, I will deliberately go to their Facebook page and lurk their photo album. I will then nonchalantly hit the like button for every picture I believe she is cute in. This is to plant the seed so she knows what's up next time I see her. Anyhow, back to Instagram, I don't think I'll ever become an avid user. Instagram doesn't make me laugh, or add knowledge, so I don't see the point. Maybe that's very caveman male thinking, but w/e it doesn't seem useful at all.

After I finished scrolling thru Instagram, I open up my Gmail account that is linked to YouTube . I can read all my comments and notifications from there. Nothing makes me feel more like a fucking boss than seeing new subscribers and getting positive comments.

Screenshot_2014-03-14-08-22-25

This is how I feel when I'm on YouTube:

I feel like a motherfucking boss when I'm on my YouTube Channel. I feel like I have the most intelligent fans out there. People that like my channel have good taste, and have the potential to be amazing people. YouTube itself has the best content out there, better than any other platform. There are definitely trolls on YouTube comments, but it also has some of the funniest responses I've ever read in my life. I've had the fortunate opportunity to make incredible friendships through the YT community. YouTube is fucking perfect, don't you dare question its beauty. I see myself using YouTube for a long long time.

After checking my YouTube for updates, I made the mistake of checking my Okcupid. OKCupid is simultaneously the best free dating website, and the shittest way to meet someone. Lets see how ridiculous this app makes me feel:

Nothing makes me feel more like a retarded chode than this App. If I only dated girls from this app, you would only see me with fat girls. Fat girls that just watch shows on Netflix and take pictures of their food (aka a fat caterpillar lard). This app is really special because not only does it make me feel like a retarded chode, it also makes me feel insecure about my height and looks. We all know that the contents of a profile doesn't matter (that's why newer dating apps have minimal profiles). While girls are receiving 50 messages a day, I'm sending out 50 messages, and maybe getting one response. Not only is this a huge time burner, but also makes me feel unworthy. Girls I would never date in real life are rejecting me over the internet. What kind of mindfuck shit is that. While I'm writing this, I'm actually debating if I should delete my profile forever.

I thought about it, I decided not to make any rash decisions and kept it.

Lastly, lets talk about Yelp. Yelp is funny because it makes people want to write like they're some boss food critic. Bro, you are a person with a smart phone, lets not get crazy. At one point in my life, there was nothing more important to me than becoming a Yelp Elite. I'm an elitist in everything I do, so naturally I should be a Yelp Elite. I wrote Yelp reviews, and actually built a small fanbase from them.

Yelp didn't find my reviews as entertaining

Yelp didn't find my review for Tastea entertaining

However, even though many people raved about my reviews, the Yelp community manager didn't. He declined my request to be Yelp elite. Fuck that guy, who is he to judge me. Either way, it was big ego stroke for me to get Yelp compliments from people who thought I was funny.

I've ceased writing reviews because Yelp doesn't appreciate my humor 

CONCLUSION:

How funny is it that I can go from one App and feel like a MOTHERFUCKING PIMPASS BOSS (YouTube), then use my thumb to slide over to another app and feel like an insecure bitch (OKCupid). It's amazing how these little words & pictures on a screen can effect our emotions because it's so real to us. Next time I start using a new App *cough* Tinder *cough*, I'm going to consider how the App makes me feel before deciding to persist with it.

Matt Tran

ps: I thought about OKCupid some more, I decided to deactivate my account, but didn't delete it. I may need it for the dark times that might come. 

3 Why Blog when I can Vlog?

If you're here, it probably means you came from my YouTube channel (EngineeredTruth). You might be wondering why I'm creating a blog when I already make vlogs and youtube videos that express myself. Fair enough question. I'll give you a fair enough answer.

There is some content much better expressed in the form of writing. Did you read J.K Rowling's Harry Potter series, then watched the movie? Did you read Tucker Max's I Hope They Serve Beer in Hell, then watch the movie? I actually never watched the movie for IHTSBIH. The stories in that book are some of the best stories I've read in my life… ever, but I knew they wouldn't translate well into a motion picture. The amazon reviews confirmed my belief.

Growing up, I didn't read much at all. The only books I read were Captain Underpants and the Harry Potter series. I remember feeling accomplished because I actually read a book, fuck yeah reading. Except I also got a B in every English class I ever took, no matter how hard I tried. Being raised in a tri-lingual household had it's disadvantages, one was reading & writing in English, you know, the language that everybody in the US speaks.

At 23 years old, I was interning at SoCal Gas, had my own place, physically fit, and had more money than most of my peers, yet I still couldn't find someone to love. I was sitting in my studio, lonely as fuck. That's when I started reading, I started off reading The Game by Neil Strauss, it changed my perspective on everything. I never knew anything could be so beautifully written, that book gave me goosebumps after goosebumps. If someone asked me what was the most influential book I have ever read, it was definitely The Game. In the book, Neil recommends readers to read Sperm Wars by Robin Baker. I read that book and then it all snowballed from there. I was hooked on books like crack cocaine.

Books have influenced my way of thinking so much. It's gone from one of my most hated & dreaded activities ( I did not read Great Gatsby, To Killing a Mocking Bird, or any of those books for high school) to my most exciting activity. At this point in my life, I can't imagine having a different favorite activity than reading, it's just so fucking awesome.

After reading such great works, I've been inspired to write. That's what great content does, it inspires. I was reading a book, Choose Yourself by James Altucher. In the book, he says that almost anyone can get published today for almost no cost by using Amazon's CreateSpace. Before CreateSpace, people had to be “chosen” by publishers to make a book. Now anyone can write their own book, put it on Amazon, and BAM M*THERF*CKERS A BOOK THAT SELLS.

There's a reason why I bought a kindle paperwhite as opposed to any other tablet.

  1. Technology-wise it's the best. Easy on the eyes yet sharpest image
  2. Amazon's store is amazing, easy to navigate, & best priced
  3. I believe in what Amazon is doing

In a way, Amazon has allowed entrepreneurs to cut middlemen out, and make themselves the only middleman that a entrepreneur  would ever need for ANYTHING, and at a great price.

With that being said, I plan to write my own book. I'm not going to lie, the reason is straight up selfish. I want to move & inspire people like Neil Strauss and Tucker Max did to me. Tucker is no longer writing Fratire, and Neil no longer writes about the game. It's really up to people my generation to make the next stage of content that will inspire the younger generation to come. I AM THAT GUY.

But first I need to improve my writing abilities and also gain a following of people who actually like my writing. That's the point of this blog, if you enjoy what I write, then COMMENT and SHARE IT.

It might take me 5 years, might take me 10 years, but I'm going to keep trucking, but I need your feedback to help my writing. CMON INTERNET TROLLS, COME GIVE ME FEEDBACK.

All jokes aside, I want to know what you guys like about my writing and what you don't like, otherwise I'll never be able to write to the point where people will pay for my writing.

Thank you guys for reading, I appreciate every minute you spent reading my writing.

Matt Tran

The Game: Penetrating the Secret Society of Pickup Artists

I Hope They Serve Beer In Hell (movie tie-in): with 16 page photo insert

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